Joys of jabbing

I love to jab people who have more fame than me. I am actually good at jabbing. I know where these people are weak and I am strong; so I know how to attack. These people ignore me — because they are famous and I am not — but I know that my jabs do the job. 

I never jab people whose intellect I truly respect. 

Sometimes, my friends accuse me of jabbing them. I feel my conscience is clear here, for my jabbings are directed at those who feel it’s beneath their dignity to respond. Furthermore, with friends, I feel I should tell the truth and not avoid what I see as the white elephant. 

My friend asked me the other day: what joy do you get from jabbing? Do you desire or resent their fame? You must, for why else would you do it. 

I am sure of this: I don’t want their lives or their life choices. I would die rather than be them. 

So why the jabs? I know I want to and enjoy making them feel bad about themselves. But why? 

Maybe part of me does want their fame. But I never resent the fame of those whose intellect I respect. Am I a fame Puritan? 

So I asked the person who I trust the most on these matters, my mom. She said I jab at people who’ve deeply hurt me in some way or the other. Once I heal, she said, my jabbings will cease. 

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