Other people 

I look down on a lot of people. I think they are shallow; I am happy I am not them; I revel in making them uncomfortable and regretful about their own life choices; I thrill in being able to do things we all know they can’t; I get upset when they flee and repulse me and try to cut me down. I play mindless  Aumman common knowledge mind games with their insecurities. 

But I am hoisted by my own petard, because when I needed them the most, they were there to help me. I stand here because of their goodwill.  

Schopenhauer said life is a joke; negativity is the rule, and positive the aberration. He said that men fear the future, regret the past, and waste the only true gift, the present. He formally proved in Book 4 of World as Will and Representation  that the only way to live a free life is to do what Eastern philosophy has always asserted: to learn to see that the will in me is the same will in you.  Sometimes I can blur the I vs the not-I and enjoy the unity of all entities. But too often, I shrink into my I and repulse the not-I. 

Once I had someone who could effortlessly snap me back into the not-I. I now have to learn to do it myself, knowing that his soul is somewhere in the universal not-I. 

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